Dare to Fuck up


"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually afraid you will make one." Elbert Hubbard I fucked up. Yes, yes I know. I´ve been a bad, terrible, awful blogger that abandons this page for months and months. I deeply apologize for that. Though, you gotta go out and live some experiences in order to be able to come back and share a bit more. Anyway, enough about me. Let´s talk about something else.

I fuck up, you fuck up, we all fuck up. The terrible mind-created horror of the possibility of doing something wrong. We go round and round in our heads, planning an action, recreating the scenarios, trying to be completely sure that no mistakes will be created with our behaviour.

Well, it doesn´t suprise when most of us were brought up in a culture that doesn´t accept mistakes. Whenever we did something considered as "wrong" by our surroundings, an immediate punishment (whereas emotional, mental or physical) came our way. Our parents probably yelled, punished, or pulled a "go stand in the corner" action. Our friends, gave us the silent treatment whenever we were not behaving as they wanted; our teacher would embarrass us in front of everyone whenever we said something dumb or flunk a test; and our teenage sweethearts, probably dumped us immediately after a fuck up. And so on and so forth with bosses, society and fashion magazines. Yes, yes, i know I am being dramatic and taking this to the extreme, but I hope you get the point.

So no. It´s not surprising that we are walking around fearful of speaking our hearts, share our minds, or taking some action in our environment. Vulnerability is such a scary word for a lot of people. For some of us it is about not expressing our point of view in our work life, for others it´s about not showing our big hearts to our loved ones; for others, it can be about making a life change. (What if it is a complete mistake to move to another city?)

Comfort zone. The problem, is that we remain in the comfort zone. Our safe barriers that have been carefully building for so long. Not telling someone that we love them until we are sure they love us back. For example,  I used to be so fearful of creating romantic surprises for my loved one, always trying to make sure he would like it, that he was up for it and was going to receive it well and he probably would do the same thing for me.

And you know what? The only thing that happened is that I wasn´t playing my part in maintaining the relationship up and going; I was too scared to be rejected that the flow of love stopped, because I didn´t let it out, so the other person didn´t have anything to work with! No matter how deeply I felt inside, I would paralyze when it came to show love, express my vulnerability, or place myself in a situation outside my comfort zone. Nah! Fuck that!

There are no mistakes. Even when it seem like one. Even if because of our big mouths we are vanished from our jobs, there is no possible way in heaven that you can make a mistake. Being bold is one of the best things we can do for our hearts. I don´t mean being reckless and behave like a little teenage brat. I mean going over the limitations of our minds, the fear of fucking up and being told that "we did something wrong."  Your heart also needs exercise. Expressing what´s in our hearts regardless how difficult it seems, how we might be shaking and sweating with the sole thought of it, it´s the best thing you can do for your heart. Don´t worry, it becomes easier and easier and you might discover that what appeared to be fear of exposing yourself, is actually excitement!

You will probably still make "mistakes", you will probably still be told off or not receive the response you were hoping for. Your task is daring to do it, let the feedback in hands of the Universe.  Because the real you is untouchable. The less personal you take it, the more you will realize is not about the response, it´s not about the other people, but it´s about you, your heart and your ability to put yourself out there. The more you do it, the more your heart will grow, the more impact you will have on others, the more you will take your space in this world and become more and more self confident till the point that you will just be out there for the joy of it, knowing, trusting and experiencing that there is no way you can do something wrong.

This week, put your heart out there. Express whatever is there to be said, do whatever action your heart asks you to do. Do not excuse yourself with the outside circumstances. Just do it. Take a leap and do it.