The thunder path
I spent the last couple of days on a female version of a bromance weekend (why isn't there a compound word for the femaleversion yet?) with my best friend, Ishani. In an attempt to be as girly as we could be, we browsed Netflix for a two-day marathon of chick-flicks. And popcorn. And wine. And pizza. And gin and tonics.
Somehow, all the titles that we randomly picked had a similar topic: A is engaged to B, but loves C; C loves A too, but somehow is close to B. At some point and after debating between the right-wrong, and the promise of happiness (romantic happiness at least), A had to choose to split from B and embark in the potential of happiness with C.
Both of us being passionate, impulsive people who will go through anything to experience the fullness of life, (we are, after all, monks committed to infinite joy) we would freak out and be extremely tense when A wouldn't-just-choose-what-they-want-and-go-through-this-already.
C'mon now! You obviously love her! What's to think about? You are a loser! Just jump!
Maybe in a movie the way to go can be pretty obvious. But not so much in our real lives. When faced with going after what we really want, what makes our heart sing, what gives us such thunderbolts in our heart that make us shake, it can be pretty difficult to identify the patterns that stop us from embarking in the promising adventure and go through whatever necessary, even if sometimes what seems like dragons are just a feeble voice in our heads.
Here are some of the excuses the characters in the movies gave to themselves:
"What will others think? How am I going to explain this to all those people?" As if they are going to be living YOUR life, wake up everyday being you, leading a life that you really didn´t want.
"I am already to far into this other road, I need to push through." As if there is a law forbidding you from taking a different turn in your life.
"I don´t wanna hurt people." Well yes, no one with a good heart wants to do that, but really, an unhappy version of you will always hurt your surroundings more, than the best version of you.
"The thing that I want scares me, it's too much." Really? Are we still in that psichobabble of the 90´s? Scared to love, scare to open up, scared to be happy? I am not saying we don´t have issues, but there are 1008 way to get through them.
"I can't take a decision it's too hard." Pfft.... seriously. Do you prefer that your "fate" is defined by circumstances that are already in place instead of embracing what obviously has you in this dilemma? "I am comfortable where I am at." Then why are you even in this pickle in the first place dude? Comfortable is not necessarily what makes you grow, be happy, expand, know yourself. But you know that. "It's already being decided" By who? The International Galactic Chamber of Deciders?
"I don't know." Fair enough not knowing, but at some point, heart must win. Or be unhappy, whatever.
Well. Yeah. We all have done that. Maybe not for love but for any other choice we want to make in our life probably not believing that we deserve it all. Anything we want.
It´s my personal belief that when a dream come true appears in your life it must make an entrance so we identify it. It IS supposed to feel big, intense, overwhelming, sweep your feet off the ground, make your palms sweat, make you behave like a drooling idiot. It IS out of the ordinary. They are after all our deepest dreams coming to life. It cannot certainly be like: "Oh, ´sup wildest dream, there you are, let me keep walking to the fridge to grab my Coca-Cola and I´ll get back at ya later." I've always loved that Greek mythology describes the archetypical adventures of any human being. The hero, the enemy, the preparation, the demons, the task, the mission. I do not intend to enter a debate whereas if they are truth or legend, or if the minotaur really existed. Yet, the imagery is so deeply engrained in our subconscious that to me, it reflects that tasks and adventures of modern life, exactly the same as the human beings that lived here 5000 years ago.
We must go through our demons in order to get what we truly desire. And once we do, we can see that the price was worth fighting every single obstacle (inner or outer), that we are all built with courage, love, and passion within, we just need to believe in ourselves (cliché, but true) and that the only thing keeping us away from living the life of our dreams, is that same lack of belief manifested in a thought. The hero must prepare in order to complete their mission. The hero must grow, must be a better version, in order to attain the desired outcome.
It is not so different now. We do not choose when our wildest dreams appear in our life. They simply do. Sometimes while you are sipping a cup of coffee in the morning and you receive an e-mail, sometimes when you are at your best friend´s wedding and you sit besides that friend that you never thought could turn your world upside down, but that night, just by looking at his right arm, he did.
We do not choose those moments, but we can choose what to do after the thunder strikes. We can either chicken out, stay put and not move anything in our lives, being comfortable, or we can be our own hero, prepare, move obstacles, try different things and grab the object of our desire no matter if you are going to be a babbling idiot for the next month. Do not worry, the energy will pass, you will become normal again.
Now, in the movie, once A dumped B to go with C, the film ends. You do not know if they lived happily ever after and that jazz, there is no promise of that. As there is no promise of that in real life. No one can assure us that leaping and embracing the thunderbolt will be a smooth, singing-in-the-rain, road. I am most sure there will be challenges and frustrations from time to time. But they exist in any road, even the meh, plain ones. I am also sure, every step down the road will be worth it in your thunder path. I am sure the rewards will always be more infinite, bigger, better.
If life is going to have challenges either way, why not face them surrounded by your deepest, bestest dreams?
Choose Thunder. Always. We are here to settle for nothing less than that.