Starts with you, ends with you
Starts with you, ends with you. Recently I've been surrounded by a lot of relationships issues (myself included) ; people bumping into each other, people breaking up, families having trouble communicating. A lot. We might think it is the solar flames or the Mayan calendar, but whatever it is, the thing is, at least in my universe, it is all around.
So I have had the opportunity to see several things.
The easiest most common way is this: "fuck this, this person is crazy, wrong, I am a victim and I am going to disappear". Or, we just decide to put all the dust beneath the carpet in an attempt to control the situation and pray for it to never come up again.
Guess what? It will come up again. It has probably been coming up your whole life and every time it will come up stronger and more uncomfortable because it has got to be resolved.
After a while of feeling like a victim myself, I remembered this: somewhere deep inside, my desire for unconditional love and freedom is so loud, so alive that I am one of those lucky people whose crap is under the spotlight. We are so blessed and lucky to be of those people who are shaken by some universal power, because we are probably needed stronger and more fluid for whatever mission is needed from us.
We tend to think "this is about me, About you and me, about me and my family". But it is not, there is a bigger picture here, and we are asked to step up and own our responsibility to change, to let go, to stop hiding beneath our patterns and start allowing the power of love to shine through.
Yesterday I received an email from someone I don't even know, thanking me for my recent blogs. Telling me how he saw his masks and decided to drop the arrogance and ask for help with his relationships and be more open and vulnerable. He has no idea what that meant for me. Everything we experience goes beyond us. It makes every struggle worth it, just for someone to step through their own limits.
Regardless of the bigger picture, it does start and end with you. It's never the other person the problem. Of course sometimes we do see with clarity someone else's aspects (someone else's crap), but we seldom have an emotional charge to it. If there is an emotional charge, if there is a head going crazy, something probably is shaking in you, and taking responsibility for it is the best thing you can do to heal any relationship ever.
The say people don't change. I disagree. People do change, people evolve, people have the ability to grow forever, it is our nature. We are all heading back to our nature: peace, love, joy, simple. We cannot be those things and still carry our old, complicated, protected ways.
But it takes humbleness to recognize that we are not those patterns and positions, we are not what our head tells us. Our world is a mere projection of how we are inside and with humbleness we can recognize the areas in which we need help.
We are much more than our thoughts. What we really are never changes, we are the full expression of the love of God. And that will never change. Once we learn to rest there forever, then the road is smooth. But to be that perfection we have to first discover that we are indeed perfect.
Change is happening. It is up to you how easy or hard you make it. How fluid or resistant you try to be. One path is easy and is full of helping hands, the other one is hard, and it is isolated and the collateral damage can be so big that you push your loved ones away. (They are not the enemy you see?)
So regardless of whose to blame, regardless if the relationships dissolve or remain together after the storm, take advantage of this opportunities. Learn, let go, own your part of the play and play it better. Everything is happening so YOU can experience a greater sense of peace and freedom. So you can become the being you really are.
Me, I am an eternal lover. I love love. Real love is within, but I also believe in real relationships. Relationships full of love, truth, humbleness and walking together in the wonderful path towards the return of Self. Holding hands in the calm sea and in the highest tides. Relationships made easy by our own determination to let go of what is complicated within us. At the end of the day, our relationships are a reflection of who and how we are inside, guiding us to the real love within.
It takes commitment and strength, but I am sure, if I am lucky enough to stick around, it will be worth it, because I believe in forever. And if not, it will be worth it too. Of that I am sure.
Today, own up. Stop. And look within.
What can YOU DO to become more loving, more open, to share your real self with the ones you love? It is not wrong to show our weaknesses. It doesn't give them power, it releases them, it helps us see ourselves through the eyes of love.